Benedicere, Laudare, Praedicare

4:00PM - Major Changeling Excitement!

Okay, I can't hold back the excitement anymore! The spoilers are promising a great game and I've been looking forward to Changeling for ages now, since I heard about OldSchool Changeling. I even have a bit of a character in mind. I'm a bit worried about the Courts, I was going to have a very good character but I see it becoming a little darker than I had first thought. 

I need to rally people to be in my group! Come on, it'll be cool.

Here's my basic thoughts on my character and stuff:
Name - Ciara Darcy but known as Shade
Seeming: Fairest, though possibly Darkling if they're allowed.
Kith: Dancer.
Court - Probably Autumn
Concept - Acrobat/performer, general rogue.
Seeking ties - Would like to find others who's changeling was a performing type in Arcandia, I'm hoping to put together a troupe of escaped acrobats and such.

This will be a character that was adored by the Fae, though much in the way people adore a favoured pet. The group she was in were the best entertainers (well, human entertainers) in Arcadia, they were renown and probably expirienced quite a bit of favouratism from the Fae. The whole group is now on the run, why? I guess that will be different for each one. For Shade it will be a simple matter of getting older; she's no longer the spry teen she once was, while only looking mid to late 20s that can still be a bit too old for a good acrobat and the Fae had started to get a bit harsher as her performance slipped.

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4:33PM - There Is Fire

OC: Hey people. I've gotten another character approved for play! Woot! I already dislike it, but it has the old MC system on it so at least it's not weak as a kitten. Right now I'm still playing Alison in games, the advent of Second Primaries people, it's an all new terror. I was hoping to bring my new PC in at Noctis but I'm not able to go, pity but hey. Saturday before last I played my new PC, it was okay. I'm trying to do an accent with it, I odn't think I'm doing badly but I am definately not confident with it.

I don't think I'll do a Journal with my new character, although it would be an opportunity to open an entry with "Captain's Log..." Can I give up such an opportunity? Oh yeah, my new PC is a pirate, or was a pirate. I'm gonna get a ship. How awesome will that be? Anyways, here's another Alison entry. Hope you all enjoy. :)
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5th of February 2007

It's warm and the air is stale. Why is it stale? Why do I continue breathing even when I don't have to? Old habit. I should work on stopping that, or maybe not. It is useful, keep the masquerade feeling natural, or is it a weakness? Too much clinging to old human practices? Right now it's just uncomfortable, the air is too warm.

The cushioned walls are all around me, small panic at this, can still see even in the pitch black though all I see is the top of the box right in front of my eyes. I'm sleepy, but I'm rather used to being awake in the day, not as much of a shock to the system as it once was. Someone is speaking, try as hard as I can to hear them but they're muffled voice is still unintelligeble. It doesn't matter, my box must have been nocked, settle down.

I wish the air wasn't so hot, hot and dry, like it's been cooped up for too long. Next time I will have to do something about the scent of cushions. Or this damnable heat. Both. I'll have to talk to Rosa about it after. I've always hated the heat, people need fresh air and heat does not allow for fresh air. That shouldn't really bother me but old habits die hard.

The voices are louder. I push my head against the side of the box, someone is screaming something. Rosa? Is that her? Oh God, what's happaning to her?

"No! Don't! Please..."

That is her, I have to do something. What are they doing to her? Panic She trusted me. God. What have I gotten her in to. She's screaming, there's loud sounds everywhere. Someone's hurting her. Rage There's nothing I can do, dig my nails in to the cushions above me but don't touch the lock. Even now I'm afraid of even bumping that lock. But I have to do something. God, help me. I can't hear anything but her screaming. She's crying over and over for them to stop. I remember when I first met her, she was crying then too.

What's happaning?

I try to hear more, there are gruff voices telling her to stop. Scrabbling sounds, loose pebbles under feet, people struggling. The box seems to be getting hotter, it's hard to breath and I feel like I'm suffocating. Calm breaths?
"No. Stop breathing. You don't have to, it just lets you know that there's not much air, besides; you breaths make it harder to hear what's happaning."
True. Good point. No breathing. What's happaning out there?

I can hear a truck outside, are they forcing her into it to take her somewhere? How can they be doing this? Who are they? It must be someone who knows me. It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault.
"Calm, you're almost lost to the Beast. Stop that."
"But someone's hurting her."
"And what can you do about that? It's day."
"You be quiet, it's all right for you to say this, you're safe back in Armidale."
"Last I checked I was with you."
"Not physically and you know it."
"That doesn't make my opinion any less valid."
"Shut up! Just shut up and let me think!"

I was shouting. Again. Clenching my jaw until it hurts I try to think. God what can I do. She's sobbing and the truck is getting closer. He won't be silent. Smug, calm, hell he's chipper even. I bet he's enjoying this. No. He likes humans, he's not enjoying what's happaning to Rosa, just the panic he knows I can't hold back. Damn him. He'll never let me forget it. Quiet thoughts now, can't let him know how much he's bothering you.

It's alright now. See? It's getting quiet. No! They're just stopping her shouts! No. Don't think like that. It's all just been a mistake. "Good. Can we get back to sleep? I don't know about you but I still sleep in the day, like any respectable vampire should."

She screams.

Forgetting everything I give in to the Beast. I rip in to the cushions above, leaving scatches in the metal beneath it, finding no way through there I wrench the lock from it's hinges, kicking against the box. Suddenly strange bars are right above me, shoved right through the sides of the box, the loud noise of machinery fills the air. Another scream pierces the air and now there is the barest glint of sunlight through the sides of the box.

Somewhere I know that I should stop trying to break out of the box, that I should be panicing about whoever is trying to break in to it, somewhere I know the danger outside. But the scream continues and that small part of my mind surrenders. I shove upwards as the metal bars near-break the roof of the box doing the same.

Sunlight. Everywhere. I feel my flesh burning.

She's there, held back by a couple of security guards. She's crying. I try to run to her, hardly able to see anymore as fire spreads. I collapse, just outside of the box, screaming for her. The whole time he's shaking his head at me and for once not saying a word but I know what he's doing. Even now he has that strange jovial-sage expression. Rosa is calling to me, her voice choked by tears, so like Maria even now. But her voice is lost to the roar of fire. All this in only a few seconds.

In the end there is fire.

My last thoughts? Hard to say really. You know how it is when you seem to think of everything at once? Or how they say one's life passes before their eyes? It was a bit like that. I do remember this: I thought of Maria, Niamh, Rosa and Raphael, I would have given my life for them and for one of them I did. I wished, again as I had so often, that things could have been done differently; that I had done as I wanted instead of as people wanted me to. I thought of all I had left to do, there was so much even after so long, I remember being told that Maria had said her life seemed complete before she passed; how when she had had fewer years than I? The memories were happy, sad, horrifying and bitter-sweet and all passed in an instant.

Brothers and Sisters, I say this now; I hope, I pray, that we are wrong.

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2:37PM

"The devil is a better theologian than any of us and is a devil still."

- A. W. Tozer

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12:46AM - Isaiah 11:6

OOC: Alison is dead. Sad really, she didn't even die in a cool way. Anyway while I'm thinking up a new character I think I will keep posting to this Journal as there are many recent stories and stuff that happaned to her that was cool. This little scene only just happaned.

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Alison stands at the front of the dark church with several priest arrayed in a circle with her; a chalk design lay between them, some toys and books are scattered within the circle. The doors are locked and tightly secured, the chants of the priests echo around the room.

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3:04PM

"When the Devil quotes Scripture, it's not, really, to deceive, but simply that the masses are so ignorant of theology that somebody has to teach them the elementary texts before he can seduce them."


- Paul Goodman

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12:26PM - The Problem with the Ordo Dracul

After talks with a few Dragons I have found that a simple enough question can cause the average Dragon quite a bit of trouble, this relates of course to the problem with their over-all flawed philosophies. I am yet to find a Dragon who can answer with any clarity or conviction, who can explain without seeing the error inherent in their words. 

Do you believe in God? 

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5:43PM - Compromised?

OOC: While an IC rant this entry is off limits for use in game at the moment, sorry. Comments are still okay. 
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 I have now been awakened from torpor and released, I was only in torpor for a mere six days; I have been torpored before and I know this was too short a time. I awoke with the taste of vitae on my lips, strong vitae, in my confusion I couldn't recoginize whose it was. I am not addicted, I can safely smell and look at vitae with no urge to drink; I fear that Brother Patrick does not believe this. I do not know whose vitae I was forced to drink, that combined with the vitae from last Court and the strange dreams I had in torpor and I do not know what could be happaning to me. 

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1:22AM - Torpor Again...

OOC: Yep that's right, Alison's in torpor. Sniping archers (amazing how many Olympic-grade archers there are in the Vampire world), pencil-weilding Crones and an orca; no, really, an ORCA. Niamh (aka Phoebe) went animal form and smushed my character under her orca-ness. So two weeks worth of torpor in Crone captivity and now a lot of confusion as to where my character is. I did have arrangements for if this happaned but ooc laziness kicks in. ;-) So I think I might write a couple of dream sequences, though the computer I'm on is crap so I might lose my writing at any time. I was posting this earlier but I had to go to Sydney to see AFI (I now know what nirvana or heaven is like).

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The large building loomed in front of her, not in a forboding way or an imposing manner but reminisent of a parent leaning down to cradle a small child. The stone of it's walls gleamed white in the moonlight, the tall spires reaching up to the sky, the stainedglass windows seemed to glow from within as the Saints watched over her. It was a cold night and when Alison chose to breath it frosted in the air, the slight breeze cut through her light clothing and made the temple look even more inviting.

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11:28PM

"God save me from my friends - I can protect myself from my enemies."

- Proverb

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2:07PM - The Way of Things

Being that every one of us is Damned, that we cannot escape this and will be caste in to Hell for this, can one truely be more Damned than another? God has turned away from us and will not forgive us the actions we took in life that led to this Damnation. The Monachus told us that should we survive to Judgement Day and fulfill God's Plan for us that we may be redeemed and welcomed back in to His graces, on this day it will matter what choices we each have made but until then every Damned is Damned equally. Should one of the Sanctified meet with Final Death next to a Dragon and a Crone do not be fooled; they will burn in the exact same Hell. This is not a dismissal of our Purpose but instead something we should always remember; when trying to convert Damned to our way never be naive enough to preach forgiveness through God, we are not here to save the Damned souls but instead to stop the Kine from rejecting the redemption offered to them.

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3:19PM - Blood and Fire

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The blood puddled around her feet, Alison calmly wiped it from her face quelling the urge to lick it from her lips, the smell was sharp and sickening to her mortal senses. The blood rained down from the sprinkler system, impressive but she couldn't be sure whether it was really the blood of the mortal security force or just animal blood and her current body wouldn't be able to make the destinction. The new Prince, Arthur York, was putting on this spectacle. Reckless and careless, there was no warning before the Court was drenched in blood; thankfully no one entered in to wassail. She went in to a small room where she quickly changed bodies, knowing she may need the use of her powers now that the Court seemed to be degenerating in to chaos.

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1:48PM

 “God grant me a good sword and no use for it.”

- Polish Proverb

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11:44AM - On Diablerie and the Damned

The Sanguineous Catechism's  Fourth Canon deals with the vile Amaranth; it tells us that Diablerie is anathema because it degrades our moral code, takes away the victims right to stand Judgement before the Lord and makes our blood more potent, thus hastening the long sleep of torpor in which we cannot fulfill our mission. All Kindred saw the wisdom in this Canon and it is now respected as one of the Three Traditions, Laws followed and acknowledged even by those who are not Sanctified. It is so engrained in us, by God Himself, that the act tears at the mind and soul. One cannot commit the foul act without significant force of will and one is always damaged by it, driven mad and consumed by their Beast.

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6:36PM

“Sin is the dare of God's justice, the rape of His mercy, the jeer of His patience, the slight of His power, and the contempt of His love”

- John Bunyan

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5:57PM

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12:12AM - A Day In The Sun

OOC
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2005

The only light coming into the small church was through the moonlit stainglass windows, frosted over by the winter nights, the saints glowed in silvery radience. A row of unlit candles sat in the corner, the wax fresh and waiting for the morning when they will be lit by the faithful praying for the dead. Normally the candles would be lit at this time but nothing that could interrupt the ceremony could be risked and fire still made Alison nervous. Perhaps when she was more expirienced in the ritual candles would be allowed but for now it would rely on her keen night vision and the moons gentle shine.

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4:49PM - The Falling Sickness

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The needle pulled through the tattered flesh, blood dripped from the tear and was wiped away with a methodical and practiced hand. The man clenched his teeth against the pain, the numbing hadn't been complete and it was a large wound to be healed. He'd torn his leg open while putting up some fencing, the young nurse assigned to him curled her lips, still uncomfortable around the sight of flesh and blood. She carefully pushed the needle through the skin, grimacing as the man winced and trying to remain calm. She could feel the eyes on her every move, waiting for her to make a mistake.

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3:06PM - New Prince, Same Problems

Our most Gracious Prince Raphael of the Invictus held Court, it was a shambles but I retain some hope that this was merely some starting jitters and that things will improve. Kindred were openly disdainful towards him and his lackeys; taunting, laughing and even singing at him. I attempted to show him the proper respect until I found myself under a cowardly attack involving poison gas that suffocated the body I was residing in. In my short absense the Dragon, Vince, was declared Master of Elysium. This was done when no one except Invictus was present, I have since discovered that the attack was most likely not caused by the Invictus directly but that it was allowed to happen in what Prince Raphael had declared safe ground is a travesty.

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2:33PM

"To fear death, my friends, is only to think ourselves wise, without being wise: for it is to think that we know what we do not know. For anything that men can tell, death may be the greatest good that can happen to them: but they fear it as if they knew quite well that it was the greatest of evils. And what is this but that shameful ignorance of thinking that we know what we do not know?"

- Socrates

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8:10AM - Deaths, Princes and New Kindred

The last Court was organised by the Invictus and I am embrassed by their complete disregard for the correct forms and ways, but some good came of it all. We now have a Prince, as oppossed to the puppet the Crones had as Prince before. Alder Raphael was made Prince, though the only support he had was from his own covenant. A Crone, Arhiman, nominated me for Prince. I was somewhat shocked but recognized it for the ploy it was, I have no intention of holding the title of Prince and being a figurehead. I politely accepted but made it very clear that should I be made Prince I will run the city in a way I think will work and no other, and sould I fail to be made Prince that it is of no concern to me as long as whomever is appointed is capable. Mitchell, a Crone, made a mockery of proceedings, but truth be told they were already a shambles and I found his buffoonery at least lent interest and homour to the Court. Raphael beheaded the old Prince and the Sheriff, something that needed to be done and has been a long time in the coming.

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